More Than a Sister

I've always wanted my daughter to have a sister. Even before she was born, even before she was conceived, I knew I wanted at least two girls for the sake of sisterhood, so I guess the technical start should be I wanted my daughters to have sisters.

Having a strong bond with my sister, I wanted my daughter to be able to share in all the good times (and bad) that comes with having a sister. I wanted her to have funny stories, precious memories, shared moments over Barbies and baby dolls, an instant second wardrobe, someone to blame, and someone to cover for. I wanted her to have a helping hand with her aging parents, a shoulder to cry on when they passed, a fabulous aunt for her children, an understanding ear when her husband drove her nuts.

The reasons I haven't had another child yet are numerous, and at the age of six, it increasingly looks like my daughter may never have the sister I had wanted to give her. At times I am more sad for her than I am for myself, because although I got to experience having a baby once, she didn't get to experience having a sister. I feel guilty, no matter how many times I run through the "why not" list.

But in the moments that I am looking on the bright but still realistic side of life, I know that included in the relationships she has with loved ones in her life, is a cousin who fulfills many of the sister job descriptors. Being eight months apart in age, the girls are often miniature replicas of my sister and myself who are a comparable ten months apart. In fact, we love to marvel over the similarities while fondly reminiscing of our time together at each age and stage they go through. And it's in these times that I comfort myself with the knowledge that sometimes plan A isn't the only path to happiness.

Tonight we had the joy of having my niece spend the night or a "sleepover," as the girls excitedly call it. I watched them giggle, tickle, fuss, make up, plot, hide, share, cuddle, and take care of each other. My niece helped my daughter look for her bear Teddy when he was nowhere to be found. I happened upon a scene in the bedroom with my daughter shining a flashlight on a book saying, "We'll finish the rest tomorrow, okay?" They will share many more special times and continue to comfort each other during life's hard times, as well.

I thought my daughter needed someone to share both parents with, as if that bond would somehow mean more than others. When in reality, my sister and I do not share the blood of birth parents and are closer than many siblings who do. What my daughter and her cousin do have in common is my sister and me. And I think that's a pretty good start.