School's Out for the Summer

It's the last day of school which will soon turn into the first day of stay-at-home motherhood for the summer. Being a teacher has allowed me the best of both worlds...and the worst.

I have a lot of time at home that most working mothers don't have, but I have separation anxiety and a few secret tears from the "first" day of work over and over again. I have the carefree days of parks and swimming pools and libraries and the crabby days where we just stare at each other. I am finally able to make creative treats from the ideas that I collect all year that would measure up to the certain SAHM I watch with envy, but there's no one there to take them to. I wonder when my husband will make it home and watch the clock for the time he will get out of my space again. I have time to be refreshed from a long school year and the itch to start a new one. I'll be able to give the alarm clock a well-deserved break only to be awakened by yelling kids.

The laundry will stay caught up, the dishes won't pile up, and my reading list will dwindle. I'll run errands whenever I feel like and not rush to beat the clock between getting out of work and closing time at the stores. Homework, supper, bath, bed, repeat will not be running through my head. My garden will receive proper attention, and my neighbors will get to know me again. But there will be days where someone is bored, and sometimes it will be me.

I'll start to miss my other "babies," my kids at school. My head will starting preparing a mental calendar of lessons. My classroom will begin to beg for another chance.

I once told a friend I taught with that I would be a better mother if I weren't a teacher and a better teacher if I weren't a mother, because I didn't feel like I had enough time to be "good" at either. She wisely responded that she understood the juggling act it takes to be a working mother, but that she was a better mother because she was a teacher and she was a better teacher because she was a mother. I turned that over for awhile and realized she was right. Having an educational background allows my children to be learning all the time, and having the experience with other children makes me understand and possibly appreciate my own a little more. Being a working mother makes being a part-time stay at home mom a little sweeter, as well. On the other hand, being a mother makes me more empathetic to my students' struggles and more at ease with the parents. I remember that each of my students is someone else's precious baby and I'd like to think that makes a difference in how I approach them. Going back to work is a break from working at home, but staying at home is a break from working at school.

So soon I'll have the luxuries and headaches from being a stay at home mom, and I'll be ready to start work again. I can't wait.