Breaktime

School has been out for a week and a half, and I am on vacation. Not my regular summer vacation where my house is turned upside down while I clean and organize, my long-awaited projects get tackled, my kids are enriched with my wonderful activities, or my to do list begins anew each morning. I took a real break. I haven't walked down to the garden, up to my neighbors, or through my classroom door. The TV has been on. A lot. We went to the library on Tuesday, and on Thursday I finished a 750+ page book, followed by another couple hundred page book on Friday. I slept in all this week and lounged in my pajamas at times. I sat under a shade tree, in the recliner, or next to my family and just sat and relaxed. For the first time in quite awhile I updated my Facebook status. Every other time I had wanted to say something, it was filled with bitterness, sarcasm, and anger, so I just didn't put it. I was over scheduled, over committed, and over stressed. I needed a break and I took it. I didn't just take a physical break; I took a mental break from the stresses that have been raining down on me from all directions. It helped that school ended and several other activities all wrapped up for the time being. The visit to the doctor where he told me I had an ulcer starting may have prompted it, too. And it could be that the yelling, screaming match that my husband and I had never had before turned on the light for both of us.

Regardless of the reasons it began, I know my well-deserved break will have to end. I have to pick up a few of the balls I juggle, even if I don't have to use them all. I just had to re-charge to be able to do so.

But I do know that as I begin to emerge out of my break, I won't let my Martha take over so completely as my Mary peeks out a little.